OOTD: Black Bear Dress

I don't think I've made any OOTD posts, haha. Not one in itself anyway.

So this is my outfit for today. My mom and I accompanied my brother to the train station since he's going away for university. It's just going to be me and my mom in the house now.

(Please excuse the dirty mirror.)

This dress is a bit too long for me. :c I was holding it up in the first pic. I think shorter looks cuter. I've only realised recently that a lot of my clothes are either too baggy or too long on me. I don't know if I can adjust them to fit me perfectly. x__x

Sorry this entry is so short and boring. Wanted to post something other than ranting about relationships for a change. I've been so moody the past few days. D:

Who even does that?

So I thought things were looking up for me again, but nope. How wrong I was to think maybe things would finally calm down. Nothing will ever be stable if there's a relationship involved.

I thought I've finally come to terms with my boyfriend talking to Girl X. The three of us were in a group chat once and it was a lot of fun. She's really nice and I actually do like her and enjoy her company. So I convinced myself that they were simply just friends - nothing more.

But... they've been talking to each other privately about weird things. About sexual stuff. My boyfriend always told me he'd never talk about it with a friend (we were confused about something I think, and I told him to ask one of his closest guy friends) because it'd be weird, so... why is he talking to another girl about it? Girl X has told him how she and her boyfriend did some touchy-feely stuff and how he was unzipping her pants. She also told him how she asked her boyfriend if he'd want a blowjob/handjob. And just now my boyfriend told me he asked her what gets her wet and she said it happens when she makes out with her boyfriend.

Isn't that kind of weird...? Do friends even ask each other that? Isn't it weirder since they're of the opposite gender? I'd never say things like that to a guy friend. It's just weird. It's something personal that I'd keep to myself. And even if I really wanted to tell someone all those details for some reason, I'd only tell my closest girl friend.

I don't get it. I thought I was finally okay with the two of them talking now and I do like Girl X, but... this is making it really hard for me. And these are only the few things my boyfriend has mentioned to me. Who knows what else they talk about? :/ As far as I know, he hasn't talked about sexual stuff with any of his other friends, so why only Girl X?

I want to cry again.

I really hate how pathetic I am. I don't have the guts to confront him about it. I don't even have the guts to just break things off. I also hate how all of my recent diary entries are so depressing and whiny.

I really wish I had a friend to talk to.