First day of sixth form.

Today was my first day of sixth form (year 12). We didn't have any lessons and sort of just sat around and met our form tutors.

School does feel quite different as a sixth former actually, especially since we finally get to wear our own clothes (the lower years have to wear uniform). Plus I felt much more casual and free in a way, and the lower years seem to look at me in awe. xD Usually when I almost bump into someone in the corridors when I was back in year 11, they would give me annoyed looks but now they just laugh it off. I'm still quite short though and a lot of the students from lower years were taller than me. :x

Quite a lot of people complimented my outfit - I would've taken a photo but I didn't think of blogging about this, so I've already changed back to comfortable clothes. -_-

One good thing is that there's at least one person that I know in each of my classes! :D But I was so sad when I found out that the friend who I went on Omegle with was going to another school. I didn't know until I stalked her Facebook. She's a lot of fun to be around and we laughed so much during Latin lessons last year. Hopefully we can meet up next holiday to go on Omegle again and talk about sixth form life in different schools.

Right at the beginning of the day, I went to the sixth form centre where everyone was gathering and I was just standing around like a noob because I couldn't see any of my friends. Then one of the new year 12 girls came over to me and asked me to join her with more of the new students. She thought that I was new to the school because I looked a bit lost. xD I really hope that I'll meet more of the new students and make some new friends. c:

That's all for now, bye bye~

Insecure.

I just looked in the mirror and for some reason I thought I looked gross and ugly. I've never felt so gross and ugly before in my whole life.

I have these stupid smile lines appearing on my face that makes me look like an old wrinkly woman. I was going to show my mom those ugly smile lines by pressing my index fingers over them, but my mom said it made me look ugly like an old woman and that it made my mouth protrude. My mouth protrudes in a stupid way like a duck and it looks disgusting and stupid. My whole face is stupid. I felt so ugly that i wanted to just die.

I used a handheld massaging device on my face to try and change my face shape. Maybe it would make my face thinner and get rid of my stupid fats by relaxing the muscles like botox. Or would it just make a face sag, idk. While I was massaging my face, I started crying because I just felt so gross and ugly.

I want to get plastic surgery when I'm 18. I don't care if I don't have money or if I get into a huge debt. I want a higher nose bridge, more prominent cheekbones, thinner lips, pinker lips, smaller face, curvier forehead. I also want my teeth to be sanded down so that my mouth doesn't protrude as much and I want to get filler where my smile lines are. I want to redo my entire face. I hate everything, it's all ugly.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm PMSing, but I've never felt so ugly in my life.

This is stupid. My face is ugly. Even my life is ugly. Everything is ugly.

I hate this.


Edit:  I'm already feeling better now. I think that was just a sudden mood swing. ;__; Btw, I took off the poll because I figured that I should just blog about whatever I feel like instead of pleasing an audience. *shrug*

A poll for the lurkers!

Hi! Just a quick and short entry - I wanted to let you all know that I just put up a poll on my blog. It should be right above the blog archive ection. I'm curious what kind of content you like to read on my blog so that I can continue making more of those particular entries. ^^

If you choose "Other", please feel free to leave a comment on any of my entries to tell me which kind of entries you enjoy the most if I've forgotten to put it as an option! I'll be leaving the poll on there for a month or more, depending on how many people have voted.

Sorry that this entry is so short, but here's a screenshot I took when my ranking became #888. It's just really complete looking and looked special so I wanted to remember this! 8 also symbolises eternity/infinity in most East Asian cultures (I think).

That's all I have to say for now. Bye bye~

Useless post.

Yo, lurkers! It's been a while since my last update.

Random picture is random.

I've completed my 2 weeks of work experience at an architectural company. It was pretty interesting and I learnt quite a lot despite acting like a noob the whole time. The director gave me a £15 voucher which was awesome. :D I'm officially on summer vacation now. So far we don't have plans to go anywhere, though I don't particularly mind since my home is so quiet and peaceful with my dad away.

Oh and a few weeks ago, some sick drunk pervert tried to molest me on my way home from work. He kept touching my shoulders and hair, and even tried to touch my chest. I was too shocked to do anything since I didn't expect something like that to happen to me. Should've kicked him in the balls. -__- I'm not going into too much detail on this incident though since it's in the past now and I've learnt what I should do next time this happens again (scream and kick him in the fawking balls).

Today I discovered that I've been applying my concealing incorrectly. The area between my nose and my upper lips are always looks dark for some reason, especially after putting on foundation, which makes me look like I have a moustache. • ~ • I kept putting on layers and layers of concealer but it still wouldn't cover up the dark patch. Then I tried dabbing on the concealer instead of rubbing it onto my skin (which I always do), and finally it covered up the dark patch! :D So yeah, if you've been applying concealer the same way I did and wondered why it doesn't work, try dabbing it onto your skin instead.

I'll probably have nothing much to do over the summer. I might actually make a useful post on a makeup tutorial or a review since a lot of lost people have been wandering onto my blog hoping to read something helpful, but then it turns out I'm just ranting about my life and my appearance, lol.

I have a couple of e-mails I should be typing but I'm feeling too lazy to do anything right now. > < I'm going to finish this entry here since I can't think of anything else to talk about. Bye bye~

My prom experience.

To sum it all up, it wasn't that great.

I put a lot of effort into dressing up. I figured that if I was going to dress up, I might as well dress up to the max and give everyone a huge transformation surprise. I put on contact lenses and false eyelashes, covered up all my blemishes and imperfections, and put on my new Clair Beauty wig (will do a review on this when I have more time [update: the review is now up! :D]). I thought I looked really pretty and completely different with a slight hint of gyaru style when looking at myself in the bathroom and bedroom mirror, but for some reason when I got to the prom place, I still looked like myself, except with my eyes overly lined with black eyeliner. Even my spots showed up clearly and my wig suddenly looked very droopy (I don't think it's the wig's problem though) when my makeup looked perfect before I left the house.

Despite my appearance not turning out how I expected, I had fun at the beginning just taking photos of people and having my photo taken with others. Plus a lot of the people who don't usually talk to me said hi to me. Then we had dinner and the food was yummy though there was only 4 different type of dishes. I heard from the girls who organised the prom say that it's supposed to be a buffet, but everything was gone after everyone had just one serving. :s

Things started going bleh for me after that. Everyone started getting up to dance and the whole room lighting changed into a nightclubby atmosphere, but I'm not the dancing kind of person. I tried to get in the mood and side-stepped in time to the music, but it got really tedious after 5 minutes. A few years ago, I went to a similar party and back then I felt high and was completely fine with jumping and bouncing all over the dancefloor like a doofus. But for some reason, I didn't get the same 'high' feeling today and I just felt really self-conscious.

While I was on the dancefloor, people kept crashing into me, trampling over my feet and lifting up their arms in the air while dancing, unleashing their armpit smell. Obviously it wasn't very pleasant. x-x There were some random guys that some of the popular girls invited and they were just whooping and cheering like apes and crashing into other girls. :\

I already wanted to leave an hour after the party officially started, but I hung around for another hour and I just felt more and more miserable as time passed. So I called my brother and he came to pick me up by bus earlier. I originally planned to leave at 11 PM, but I left at around 10:10 PM or so. I'm so thankful that my brother was willing to make the same trip twice (he also escorted me to the prom), especially when it was dark and rainy outside.

Here's a photo of my prom dress:

Sorry for the blurry photo, but this one showed most of my outfit. It's not very clear but there's a white bow at the front. I wanted to take my cardigan off (I think the dress looks way better without it) but then my bra straps would be visible. xD The wig is supposed to look brown with a tiny hint of a reddish undertone, but it looked pretty black in the room.