Relationships suck.

Well. February so far has been awful. It's a really long story.

Basically my boyfriend has been flirting with another girl online and liked one of her nude pics she posted on a forum. I called him out on it. At first he apologised. I ranted to our mutual friend about it, who got really angry at his behaviour so she yelled at him.

I was taking a nap when she yelled at him. When I woke up, my boyfriend was suddenly acting off. He started yelling at me, accusing me of throwing him under the bus every time I get mad, yet I always expect him to be patient.

Some of the few things he said:
"Of course I'm always the bad guy, right?"
"What might be a big deal to you is not a big deal to me."
"I liked a picture. Big whoop."
"You're telling me that I did something wrong. I don't think I did. Sorry."

him: What do you want?
me: I just wish you were more aware of the boundaries in a relationship.
him: You say this like you're an expert. Didn't you ask me at one point what the normal boundaries were? What normal friends do and what normal couples do?
me: More of an expert than you are.
him: That's funny.

Then he told me that he asked for his best friend's opinion. He always listens to that guy. He basically invalidated my feelings based on what his friend said.

He gave me an attitude the day before too, when I asked him to try not to say anything misleading that would make me assume he's interested in another girl (this was before he admitted he was flirting with nude-girl).

Yesterday he told me that there's nothing wrong with flirting when you're in a relationship because it's not serious so it doesn't mean anything. I'm not an expert on relationships, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be flirting? Doesn't being in a relationship mean you're committed to that one person and so you shouldn't be playing around with other people?

Anyway, I wasn't able to change his mind. I did ask him if he was willing to stop flirting with other girls if I asked him to and he said yes. So I guess there's no problem now, unless he repeats what he does.

I don't know. I've been feeling very iffy since then. I feel like I'm losing my feelings for him? I used to be so happy when we could call - when I could see his face and hear his voice. But now I just don't feel anything at all. I felt nothing when he told me that I was pretty and how much he loved me. I don't know if it's because I've been depressed ever since that argument. I don't really feel happy anymore.

Everyone's been telling me to break up with him. My friends, my mom, strangers on the Internet, etc. They all tell me I deserve to be treated better. I hope we don't have to break up. We've had so many good memories and he does make me smile when he's not mad. We've agreed to calmly discuss it if I'm bothered by something he's doing, which I think is fair. But next time if I calmly talk to him and he still snaps, or if he still doesn't stop showing interest in other girls, then I'm afraid that's that. I don't want to be mistreated anymore.

For the first time in a long time, I cut myself again. My boyfriend found out and told me it wouldn't happen again. I really hope it doesn't. I'm tired of arguments and drama. I just want to have a stable relationship that makes me feel secure and content.

Oh and I was finally able to clear out my Whatsapp history with him. Whatsapp has been taking up a ton of space on my phone because I kept every single pic he sent and all of the texts. I didn't have the heart to delete them because memories are really important to me, but I was finally able to today. I wonder if it means something.