Shitty day.

And there was I thinking that today might actually be a good day. It was okay, honestly, but then everything came crumbling down during art.

In art, we were told to outline bottles using ink with the other end of a paintbrush. Everyone else did their outline in just one colour, but I blended shades of purple and blue in the line and double-lined it with a fainter blue. Then I recreated the shiny curves of the bottle by painting in parts with light yellow ink, going darker/lighter wherever necessary.

Then when I looked up to see where everyone's up to, I saw two people copying me (they were sitting very close to me). Guess who one of those people were? My 'best friend'. Surprise. She was copying me AGAIN.

The other girl copying me is usually nice and talks to me, so I didn't mind her copying me AS much. It's sort of like a one-off, you know? But as for my 'best friend'? HASN'T SHE COPIED ME ENOUGH?

I just felt so indignant.The second part of the exercise was to dab a blotch of ink onto the paper and let the ink trickle down over the outlines. I decided to trickle the ink upwards to make mine a bit different. Then my art teacher singled me out and said, "YOU'RE TRICKLING IT THE WRONG WAY! YOU'RE DOING IT UPWARDS!"

All I did was sit there silently. I heard someone snickering in the background - not sure whether it was aimed at me. I wish I could have said "Actually, I'm doing this on purpose because a couple of uncreative losers are copying me so I want mine to look more different to theirs." But I didn't. I couldn't. After 10 seconds of silence, she said "Oh, never mind, you can trickle it upwards too."

I felt so self-conscious after that, so I started trickling it downwards even though she said upwards was okay too. It ended up ruining my painting. The teacher also told me to paint more bottles even after I had started trickling, so the outlines of the new bottles blended with the trickles and made a huge mess.

While I was walking home (since art was my last lesson), I just kept thinking about how I wanted to rip up my painting and scream out every single thing that is stopping me from being happy. The 10-minute journey home is usually a time of peace for me, because I'd imagine what life would be like if I were different and fantasize about being a guy. But I was just filled with negative thoughts today, and I also kept thinking about how my dad was having an affair - a second life that I knew nothing about. When I got home, I was almost crying.

I'm probably just making a big deal out of nothing. Just a little PMS-y, maybe. I'm supposed to prepare my French speaking questions and speeches by tomorrow or something. I haven't even started yet.