Realistically speaking...

...there is no way that I'd be able to look like Yu Ha Min if I get a boyish haircut. ;__; (Unless I get plastic surgery, but that is waaay too painful for me. Though when I'm older, I'd like to get my nose done - only as a last resort. *shifty eyes*)

 Why can't I look like that!? ^ (That's a rhetorical question so shush.) I think even if I were to get a boyish haircut, I'd still look like a girl, or a really chubby and short 11-year-old boy. Besides, my hips are too wide to pull off looking like a guy.

So I'm going to set aside my dream of looking like a pretty boy for now and instead, I want to become a shu nu (淑女). Yep, I'm going towards the extreme opposite of a tomboy.

Actually, now that I'm typing about it, maybe I'd like to have a more ulzzang-y vibe so I can be a bit more creative and expressive with my style of clothing. Shu nu's can wear bright clothes too, but I imagine them to wear dainty and delicate dresses. I just have this vision of shu nu's being all reserved and demure. If I were a guy, I'd like a girl who is shu nu, so it feels like I can protect and take care of her. I'd beat up anyone who picks on her. asdfghjkl;

*cough*

Anyway. I've been changing my mind A LOT over whether I should get a boyish haircut or not. I want to grow my hair out and dye it brown this summer. I also want to look like a guy but like I said at the beginning of this post, it's quite unrealistic considering that I want to look like a hot guy. My eyes are too round. My face is too chubby. My legs are too fat. My height is too short. My nose is too flat. My hips are too wide. My boobs are too big (I don't think binding would be good in the long-run). I could go on and on.

The ONLY part of my body that would fit in with a guy's figure is probably my shoulders. :| They're pretty wide, in my opinion. My wrists also look pretty manly if I wear some kind of a bracelet, LOL.

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My revision is also going horribly. I still have not done a single thing. Well, I did do three paintings yesterday but that doesn't count because it's work that I should have done aeons ago.

I wrote the times of all my exams on my calendar and it actually doesn't seem that bad. The only thing I'm really stressed about is maths. I finally understand all the people who have complained about how hard it is! I used to just be like "Psh, maths is easy", but it really depends on what kind of level you're on. *sigh* GCSE maths IS easy, but A-level isn't.

I did try to spend a couple of hours reading through my maths notes, but none of the information seemed to be registering in my brain. I pretty much just stared at and re-read the same page over and over again for hours. I then tried to re-copy out all my notes and condensing it to group together all the important points, but I got really tired just after going through the formula for working out the standard deviation and the variance of data.

Help. x__x