Thursday, 28 June 2012

I don't know why but...

I kind of miss my dad. I miss how he was before he became all fawked up in the head. He didn't used to be like this. He still often argued with my mom in the past over money problems, but he never did anything that could seriously hurt the family.

He got worse and worse after we moved to our new flat by the river around 2-3 years ago. That's around the same time when he started having an affair with another woman. Maybe the woman gave him some kind of an STD that made him all messed up? :\

Or maybe he could no longer make an effort to pretend to be a good person in front of me and my brother. My mom has told me stories of how badly he had treated her before. He accused my mom of causing his own father's death before me and my brother were born. Maybe he's always been like this and it's just that I never realised.

Either way, I'm not letting him come back unless he has changed himself completely. Actually, even if he changed and begged to come back, I still don't think I'd let him.

I'll miss the person he used to be and forever hate the person he became. Because they are two different people.

//feeling down in the dumps

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