Friday, 29 June 2012

I feel so lonely.

For some reason, the friends I used to talk to don't talk to me as much anymore.

You know the friend I've mentioned before whom I added on Skype? She's the same person as Girl B in this entry. For some reason she isn't talking to me as much anymore. I helped her out with another girl's art project at school Tuesday morning, but as soon as the girl came in to school, she ran off to her like a little puppy and clung to her side. Then the teacher asked me to help with something else and I had no idea how and I needed someone to help me, and she didn't even offer to help and just left with the girl. I thought she was a good friend. Even though I made a Facebook post saying that I was going through a hard time, she didn't ask me if I was okay or anything. I never see her on Skype anymore and whenever we do talk online, she'd say "brb" and go offline for the rest of the day.

And there's also the friend I went on Omegle with from this entry. She's also not talking to me as much anymore. She didn't ask if I was okay when I posted that status on Facebook either. I don't blame her as much because we've met fairly recently so maybe she felt that she shouldn't pry into my personal life.

In the end, the people who cared about me were the people whom I thought were fake friends. The day the incident happened, I e-mailed my 'best friend' and she asked if my mom was okay. She told me to not think about it and to focus on revision because we had an exam the next day. She's still sending me e-mails and talking to me, which makes me really happy because it feels like she's trying to be there for me, even though she's told me before that she doesn't know how to comfort people. Even the girl who spread rumours about me a few years ago was the first to ask me if I was okay. Today she messaged me on Facebook to ask me how I am. Even my best friend from primary school who I haven't spoken to in years asked me if I was alright, and I used to think she was annoying because she'd always be jealous whenever I talked to other people.

All the people who I thought were nice turned out to be unreliable. All the people who I thought couldn't be trusted turned out to be the most caring. Everything's a bit messed up right now. I feel guilty for thinking so badly of them before. I'm so bad at judging people and I feel like such a jerk.

If any of you somehow found my blog and are reading this, I'm sorry for misjudging you and for all the bad things I've said about you in the past. D:

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