School updates, and a male me? :D

My self-portrait is finished, but it looks pretty mediocre compared to some other people's. For some reason, I'm getting the feeling that some people are copying me...? I'm painting a photograph of myself making a surprised expression with widened eyes in black and white, and I saw two other people also painting in black and white and their photo was also a surprised face with widened eyes. One of them even painted an eye-shadow-like wing going upwards that was exactly like in my painting's.

I know that 'surprised' isn't an original expression, but did they just have to use the same colour palette as mine? When I look at the self-portraits from last year's art students, only one of them was black and white so I thought that my canvas would stand out more if I did that too. Guess not.

...Or maybe I'm just being too paranoid. :x I had to hand in my artbook yesterday and I haven't finished all of the research and paintings I'm supposed to do. I'm probably going to get a C for it. My fault for not being organised. D:

I should probably blog about something more interesting, but nothing much has happened lately.

I did make a new friend though! :D We started bonding much more after finding out that we both play on the same website - TinierMe. I really like talking to her; I feel like I can be myself and say whatever I want to.

I have another friend on Skype and while it makes me smile to be around her, I feel a bit restricted somehow - as if I have to keep up to certain expectations. I'm not sure why I feel this way.

-

Anyway! On a side note, I photoshopped a picture of myself into a guy a few months ago. :D I've only decided to upload the photo here now because I think my blog would look better with more pictures.

And yes, I know that the picture's tiny; it would look really fake if I made it any bigger. xD The hair is done by tying my own hair up into a ponytail and edited out on Photoshop, and then I drew the rest. (<-- I think the sentence structure here is an epic fail, but I'm not sure how to reword it to make it sound better. *noob*)

The photo is actually from back when I used to edit my pictures like crazy soejr;poweijr, so that's why the eyes look a bit strange (but my pose was so guy-ish here that I just had to choose this one).

All in all, I think I could pass as a girly guy. = w = b

Male

I'd like to be a guy.

That probably sounded like I'm a freak or something. ^^; It doesn't mean that I'm attracted to girls, want sex change in the future or anything like that. I'm just really curious what it would be like to be a guy. I feel like I can be more confident and 'attractive' as one - although that probably made no sense.

I've been imagining what look I'd go for if I were a guy at school today: K-pop styled short hair with a full or side fringe, long shirts with skinny jeans, hoodies, eyeliner to make my eyes look sharp and long, carrying my bag over one shoulder, looking a bit too pretty for a guy, cool (sexy xD) poses, and so on. I go to an all-girls school and we have to wear a skirt as part of the uniform, but we're allowed to wear our own clothes in 12th grade (next year!) so I wouldn't look off with a short haircut (although I really like long hair).

I also want male friends. I actually don't know any guys in real life apart from my relatives. What would it be like to have a guy as a friend? No rumour-spreading, no backstabbing, no you're-prettier-than-me-so-I-hate-you, no you-are-more-popular-so-you-suck, and all that stupid crap? Sounds like a dream come true.

I've always liked friendships between guys. It's sort of pure, in a way, and touching. The whole "I got your back" thing is just really beautiful to me, unlike most of the girls in my school who backstab their own friends. Plus, with male friends, you can shove each other around and wrestle for fun. xD

Those are the reasons why I'm interested in cross-dressing. Even if it's not permanent, I'd like to just try walking around as a guy for a while.

I kept randomly imagining the stuff that could happen while crossdressing in 12th grade at school. Looking like an attractive guy and getting a lot of attention (sorry, I'm a little vain ^^;)~ It all looks so fun in my head. I wouldn't be that annoying and quiet 'freak' in the corner anymore. I'd be a whole new person with confidence and strength. No one would pick on me anymore.

~

I found a lot of amazing male wigs on a Korean website. Too bad I can't read Korean. D:

 

They're all so pretty~ I want to buy them all. D: I admit that the attractive models made the wigs look even better. *can probably never pull it off as well as they can* ^^;