OOTD: Lazy Days + Update

New blog theme! :D This one's not has ridiculously girly as my last one, lol.

These outfits are from a few months ago but I didn't think of uploading them here. They're all pretty lazy OOTDs - just a simple top paired with skinny jeans.

Black shirt with hot pink sleeve + collar borders and a sequinned design.

Fitted red top.

Purple shirt with fake-studded design.

The sleeves are translucent with a super cute bow by the collar. *u*

Even this selfie is lazy.

Aside from that, I haven't gotten any offers from any universities yet. I've submitted a portfolio just today and still need to get around to sending another one. I have an interview in exactly a week! ; ~; I'm actually not feeling nervous just yet - I don't think the realisation has kicked in yet. I should start preparing for it too.

The past two weeks have been super stressful because I had a lot of school work and then something happened to my boyfriend. Things have calmed down now - he's not moving out anymore. But this means we can't vidchat anymore while he's at home. Voice-calling should be safe, but we haven't been doing a lot of that either. :x We had an argument (well, more of a disagreement) the other day too. He was talking about another girl again whom he felt like was hitting on him. He said, "I'd be dumb to let you go over a risk since I know you better", which seemed to imply that the only reason he's sticking with me is because I'm "safe". He snapped at me a few days before that too, because I was blaming myself again for getting him in trouble. I ranted to a mutual friend (it was Girl X, actually. She's really nice, haha) and she said she's going to have a talk to my boyfriend about this since it wasn't fair that I was being treated like this.

Our argument led from the way he keeps wording things badly and causing me to misunderstand, to how he always gets angry at me now when I'm sad rather than being sweet like he did during the first few months of our relationships, to how I'm always sad for "no reason" and "never talk" in calls. I do talk a lot more in our calls now. A lot more than I did before. I'm still not fully conversational and talkative because I've always been shy and awkward, but I'm slowly getting used to it. It makes me sad when he keeps bringing that up as a problem all the time and accusing me of not trying when I've already made some progress. :c He's an extrovert while I'm an introvert, so he finds it hard to understand why it's so difficult for me to just talk. I told him how bad my social anxiety is: a few weeks ago, I raised my hand in front of a large class. All I did was ask the teacher a question, but afterwards I realised my hand was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't stop the shaking. After he heard that, I think he felt bad and apologised. I apologised too for being so incompetent.

I think we have disagreements quite a lot compared to normal couples. Or maybe just our mutual friend is in a healthy, balanced relationship. Anyway, I'm going to try to stop being sad so often now. I really just need to get over my dumb insecurity issues and ask him if I misunderstand anything instead of being passive-aggressive. My insecurity issues were getting better the week before the whole thing with his parents happened. But then after receiving a hoard of texts from his older sister (married with kids) telling me that I was breaking apart their family and that if I really loved him, I'd break up with him, I think my problems came back again. Sigh. It'll take a while before I can really get better.